Recognizing and Naming Our Emotions

Emotions are an important gauge of what we might be needing in our lives.  Sometimes it can be difficult to recognize what we’re feeling, or what to do about it.  If you’re struggling with big emotions, try naming what you’re feeling.

Identifying and naming the emotion(s) you’re feeling can be tricky.  If you’re finding it hard to know what emotion you’re experiencing, try using a Feeling Wheel like this one offered by the Gottman Institute.

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Notice that many emotions are secondary emotions, related to a core emotion (at the center of the wheel).  Other tools such as the Anger Iceberg can also help identify secondary reactions to a core emotion.  

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Once you’ve named what you’re feeling, it’s important to keep in mind that you are not your emotion.  Dr. Susan David provides a tool to help us remember this.  Instead of saying to yourself, “I’m (angry, lonely, overwhelmed, etc.), try saying, “I am noticing that I’m feeling _____, and I need ______.”  

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Next time you’re feeling a strong emotion you’re having trouble naming, try using these tools to fill in the blanks, remembering that you are not your emotion, and that naming what you’re feeling is the first step to understanding what you may be needing more or less of in your life.  

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Links

https://cdn.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/The-Gottman-Institute_The-Feeling-Wheel.pdf

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https://cerebral.com/care-resources/anger-iceberg

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https://www.susandavid.com/resource/i-am-feeling

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